Spring Semester Planning for Kids Returning to College

You made it! The kids made it home, the in-laws were tolerable and there weren’t a ton of gifts that needed returning. Now that everyone is headed back to campus, it’s time to either let that old anxiety creep in or spend some time on the front end helping your son or daughter develop a plan to be successful for Spring Semester.

Money

If you have not learned by now, discuss how much you are giving to your kid and when you’ll give it to them. You don’t want to find yourself in a defensive position Sunday night while your son is blowing up your phone begging for their regular spending money to be put into their account early. I recommend putting money into the account 2x/month. Put it on them to create a budget which factors in their books, fun money and any other expenses. I also recommend a limit is set for any credit cards and deciding who and when it will be paid off.

Organization

Talk about starting the semester off with everything in it’s place – clothing, car, computer. Let’s make sure everything is reviewed, updated and ready to go. While we’re at it, let’s pull up the calendar and start looking into the future to see when things will need to be re-updated. Get the oil change scheduled, even if it’s two months out. Get the printer cartridge in your Amazon Wish List so that you can move it to the cart quickly when your printer gives you a frowny face.

Scheduling

Speaking of calendars, let’s go ahead and talk scheduling more in-depth. I recommend to every college student they use the following strategy: Get all your syllabi, Put all dates for tests, papers, office hours, etc on your calendar. For tests, count back from the test date one week and put schedule study times (no longer than 90 min). Do the same for papers. Break down writing the paper into reasonable and realistic chunks of time and put them on your calendar. Theme: Put everything on your calendar, everything. If your son or daughter are in greek life, there are a ton of events that can be put on the calendar. Same with internships or study abroad – break down all the details so that you can see things from 10,000 ft.

Travel/Visiting Home

Plan out whatever travel including home visits your kid will have mor might have. If travel plans are only possible and not 100%, put a question mark after it so at least everyone knows that period of time is possibly accounted for.

GPA 

If your kid’s GPA got beatin up a bit in the Fall, it’s probably a good idea to identify a reasonable expectation for the Spring. If your son or daughter limped home with C’s and D’s, ask what is a realistic GPA for which to aim. Talk about it but make it clear there needs to be something concrete. . Along with identifying a GPA to aim for, talk about specific strategies that will be used to support them. All colleges have student support and academic support options. For instance, here in Bloomington, Indiana University has a solid Academic Support Center with a ton of resources that work well for thousands of students struggling academically.

Graduation/End of Semester

Part of that schedule should also have details that show your finals and last day of classes. Put details about studying for finals, having family in town, etc. If your son or daughter is graduating, figure out details early in the semester since 1) things get crazy busy/expensive during graduation and 2) hotel rooms get sold-out.

On Campus Help

Besides hooking up with academic support, it’s not a bad idea to find a counselor/life coach that can act as liaison between home and school. This professional should provide regular updates to parents, meet and be available as often as needed. They should be well-versed in young adult issues like anxiety, depression and ADHD. Universities often have counseling centers on campus that provide individual counseling for about six sessions and then they refer to a community professional. They might have ideas about professionals near your kid’s school that can offer support.

Final bit of advice – trust your kids and trust the process. With a bit of planning, your kid’s semester will have highs and lows but ultimately, they’ll finish the semester better than they started it.

Insider’s Guide: Top 5 Things for Your College Student Transitioning to Fall Semester

Most of the students with whom I work have depression, anxiety and mild substance abuse. One of the easiest, cheapest and most effective tools for combating these struggles in college is detailed planning. Below, I’ve outlined the Top 5 things I tell every student to implement as they are showing up for Fall semester.

  1. Syllabi Dates. Encourage your college student to plug-in all dates into their calendar from the syllabi they receive over the coming days. Once all the test dates are put in, reverse engineer two weeks prior to the test dates and put study dates into the calendar for no longer than 90 minute chunks. If it’s not scheduled, it will get pushed off till the last minute.
  2. Professor Office Hours. Everyone will want to meet with professors the Thursday and Friday before Thanksgiving. Have your above-average college student pull their professor’s office hours from the syllabus (yes, all professors put office hours on there) and plug into the calendar.
  3. Download Your University’s Academic Calendar. In June, I downloaded the Indiana University’s academic calendar for Fall 2016. It is a small file from Indiana University’s Academic page for any student or parent to view or download. Once downloaded, your college student can upload it into their calendar. Now, they’ll know Add/Drop dates, Fall Break, Winter Break, Finals, etc.
  4. Don’t Talk Every Day. Plan to talk 2x/week – (eg. Wednesdays and Saturdays). It’s time to intentionally create more autonomy, build trust, and not feel like you need to hover over them.
  5. Set up Counseling Early. Counselors and mental health providers get slammed since there are so few of us in most college towns. There are even fewer psychiatrists for medication management. Start looking for a counselor/therapist now before the semester gets in full swing. Psychiatrists are often scheduled out 2-3 months.

Good luck and please reach out for more suggestions and strategies to mitigate the challenges your college student is facing with depress, anxiety or substance abuse. Don’t go it alone.

5 Signs of Suicide Risk in College Students

FACT: 15% of graduate and 18% of undergrads have seriously considered attempting suicide

FACT: 15% of graduate and 18% of undergrads have seriously considered attempting suicide

There is nothing more exciting than dropping of your college freshman in late August as the cool nights of Autumn return. But not all students carry with them the same energy and positive outlook for the Fall. Some are carrying some heavy baggage from High School or even younger while others don’t start to develop any major issues until they first get to college (and their first taste of freedom from parents). What parents don’t know is that you likely know your college friends (or at least a side of them) better than their own parents do, and you may be able to tell that something is wrong way before anyone else. This quick list is as much for parents as it is for you students out there. 

The following signs might indicate a student is considering suicide:

  1. A good student who’s behavior suddenly changes – they start ignoring assignments and missing classes which are likely signs of depression or drug and alcohol abuse, which can affect their health and happiness and put them at risk of suicide. And yes, good students and good kids use drugs. Seriously. 
  2. Anyone who doesn’t have friends or who suddenly rejects their friends may be at risk. A friend who suddenly rejects you, claiming, “You just don’t get it,” may be having emotional problems.
  3. College students may be physically or emotionally abused by a member of their family or their girlfriend or boyfriend – or suffering from abuse that occurred long ago but triggered by the new college environment. Abusive relationships can make a college student feel like crap about themselves. Signs that a person may be in an abusive relationship include unexplained bruises or other injuries that he or she refuses to discuss. 
  4. This is a common one – Significant changes in a someone’s weight, eating or sleeping patterns, and/or social interaction style may indicate that something is wrong. Eating disorders are super common at college. Lot’s of perceived competition, anxiety and stress that translates into really unhealthy views of one’s self. 
  5. Coming Out? College students may suffer from depression or have thoughts of suicide if they have a difficult time adjusting to their sexual orientation or gender identity. Gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered students have higher suicide attempt rates than their heterosexual peers.

We understand regret and their could certainly be a real consequence of getting help for someone who seems to be really hurting. They might get pissed at you for not minding your own business. But think of it this way – is the regret of possibly losing a friend better or worse than the potential of knowing you could have saved your friend’s life but did nothing? Tough choice but that’s part of the burden of mental illness.